Stay: A Final Goodbye
by flower of scotland
Summary: "I need to go now," she muttered, pulling away from him. "No, Lily, you can't just leave?" "What else is there to say?" she shrugged. "You've chosen your path and I've decided not to follow, there's nothing more you can do." The final goodbye between Lily and Severus. One-Shot.


**A Final Goodbye...**

It was a summer's night and the air was warm but Severus Snape was drenched to the skin with rain. It was dusk now and the sky that he could make out from up above was slowly darkening. Even though he was in a forest filled with vast trees, there was no way for Severus to shield himself from the blast of oncoming rain; the wind was blowing so hard and fast that it was making the downpour blow in every which direction. Not that he cared. If he had been in a proper state of mind he would have known to perform a water-repelling spell on his robes in advance - it had been raining like this for more than two weeks now and the weather forecasters were calling it the wettest summer Britain had seen in years. But, he was rather happy that it was wet because if it had been sunny right now - especially here, the place where he had spent most of his childhood - then it might have brought back too many memories for him to cope with.

Slamming his Occlumency barriers into place, he shuddered and let his head fall back against the tree on which he was supporting himself and closed his eyes, shutting his mind off from the rest of the world. After a moment, he opened his eyes again and his head felt a little clearer - it would not do to have his emotions betray him tonight. Tucking the long, wet strands of his black hair behind his ears, he lifted his hood up over his head and wrapped his robes around himself a little tighter.

Ten long minutes he had been waiting; watching; listening for any sign. This area had been decided upon as a meeting place and quite frankly he was terrified. Severus Snape did not scare easily but after a week's worth of pent-up nerves, as well as over-thinking everything that was about to happen, it was quite inevitable that he would end up feeling a little frightened. If all went according to plan tonight and he got his words straight (all speeches pre-prepared, of course) then he could change everything, including his own life, for the better. But if it all went wrong...

He didn't want to think about the repercussions.

A bolt of lightning lit up the sky, startling him out of his reverie. A few seconds later, the predictable roar of thunder followed suit and a huddle of birds flew, startled, from the surrounding trees.

As a little more time passed, the rain started to die off and Severus began to worry to himself: what if something had happened to the person he was waiting for? Or what if, Merlin forbid, they had decided to not come at all?

Just as this thought crossed his mind, something happened: Severus did not see or hear anything change but there was a slight shift in the air and suddenly he knew that he was in the presence of magic. The wind was whistling too high and the sound of the raging storm too loud for him to distinguish the popping noise of an apparition, but he knew that that was what had taken place. From behind a large oak tree, a hooded figure appeared with its wand aimed towards him. Automatically, he reached for his own wand but then the hooded figure spoke.

"Severus Snape?" the figure asked and Severus felt his heart race at the sound of the voice. Her voice.

"How do I know it's really you?" the witch continued, her voice harsh and her manner almost business-like. Severus rolled his eyes at her paranoia. This was what the Wizarding world had come to.

"Ask me anything," he replied, holding both of his hands up.

There was a long pause.

"How did you and I first meet?" she finally asked.

"Hah!" he said, and for the first time in a long while, Severus let out a breathy laugh. He shook his head and let his memory take him back to that glorious summer's day in 1970...

"We were in the swing park about five minutes from here," he said. "You were playing with your sister and I was hiding behind a tree watching you. I introduced myself to you by informing you that you are a witch."

The hooded figure's wand arm wavered for a moment and then finally lowered. Putting her wand away, she removed her hood to reveal long fiery hair and a pale face, emerald eyes blazing.

It was the first time Severus had seen Lily Evans in over twelve months.

"And the rest, as they say, is history," she added dryly.

Severus just shook his head. He could not believe that she was really here in front of him, that she was standing close enough for him to reach out and touch - and there was nothing that he could possibly want more than to do just that. To hold Lily in his arms would make him the happiest Wizard alive.

She was thinner than he remembered. And paler too. Even in the dim light of the night, he could tell that the Wizarding War had taken its toll on her. If only she were fighting on the _right _side...

"So are you going to tell me why I'm here?" Lily asked, patting down the front of her robes. "I mean, I can't imagine why you picked here of all places but on a night like _this_?"

"It was the first place that came to my head," Severus said. "I needed someplace no one would think of."

"And why is that?"

"Because I needed to speak to you in private."

"Oh." She looked subtly intrigued. "I must say, when I got your message I was rather surprised. It's...been a while, Severus."

He remained silent. It indeed had been a while and he hadn't properly realised it until just then. From the ages of ten to eighteen, he had been used to seeing Lily every day of his life, whether it be as friends or not - but as soon as their time at Hogwarts ended, all of that changed. When he wasn't seeing her all of the time, when he wasn't constantly reminded of her and her relationship with _James Potter_, it had been easy for him to pretend that he didn't care about her. Out of sight, out of mind; that had been his motto...it wasn't until that very second that he understood absence really did make the heart grow fonder.

Dear Merlin, he missed her.

A smile escaping her lips, Lily began to wander in a little circle, her eyes searching the trees towering over them and the stream flowing beside them. "Wow," she breathed, "this place hasn't changed one bit, has it?

"Did you ever expect it to?" he smiled, his eyes never leaving her. "It's just a forest."

"I know," she shrugged, "but so much is different now...I don't expect anything to stay the same anymore."

There was a note of acceptance in her voice, but she seemed sad nonetheless. Severus shivered. What he wouldn't do to make her happy...

"Do you remember that time you made a branch fall on my sister's head?" Lily reminisced.

"Remember it? You wouldn't speak to me for days afterwards!"

She laughed and Severus felt his spirits life. What a beautiful sound...he hadn't been the one to make her laugh in years.

"Well, I happened to _like_ my sister at the time," she continued. "Another thing that's changed," she added with a slight roll of her eyes. "It was right over there, wasn't it?"

He looked over to a patch of ground she was pointing at and swallowed hard. The two of them had made so many memories in that place; long discussions about Hogwarts and magic, lying for hours soaking up the summer sunshine, laughing and play-fighting amongst the grass and leaves...maybe it had been a bad idea to come back here.

The laughter between the two of them died down and there was an awkward silence. He unexpectedly missed the comfortable silences they had once shared as children.

"So," Lily said, sober now. "What is it that you need to speak to me about?"

And he was reminded of why he had arranged this meeting in the first place. He felt his heart begin to pace and then cleared his throat, breathing deeply. He did not want to mess this up.

"First of all, I want to thank you for coming here in the first place," he began. "There was a part of me that thought you might not come..."

She looked at him with a knowing expression on her face. "I can understand why you would think that," she nodded. "And there's a part of _me_ that thinks it was a bad idea to come meet you, but...what can I say? I was - _curious_."

He could feel his heart in his throat as he looked at her with that glint in her eyes; what if he couldn't give her the news she was hoping to hear? He looked pointedly away from her.

"What is it, Sev?" she whispered and he glanced back at her, surprise evident on his face. She hadn't called him that in years. He decided to grab the bull by the horns and say what needed to be said.

"He...the Dark Lord. He still wants you."

The look of curiosity on Lily's face faded and was soon replaced with a look of sheer malice - and then an added tinge of regret. Her eyes were scorching.

"Well," she spat, "you know where you can tell him to shove it!" And with that, she turned on her heel and marched away from him, her long dark cloak billowing behind her.

"No, Lily, wait!" He began to run after her and was suddenly reminded of that very first day in the playground when he hadn't started off by saying the right thing either. "You have to listen to me. This is the only way you're going to survive all of this!"

"I don't want to hear it, Severus!" she snapped back at him, still marching fast along the wet and uneven ground.

"Look. He wants you on his side because he admires you," he recited, thinking hard of everything he had planned to say in order to convince her. "He knows that you are one of the most powerful witches of our generation - and - and he doesn't care that you're Muggleborn!"

She came to a halt finally and turned to face him. "I find it difficult to believe that, Severus. Is that what he told you to keep you sweet?"

A dark look passed over his face. "The Dark Lord doesn't keep anyone _sweet_, Lily."

She swallowed and then looked up at him, her voice soft as she spoke. "Severus, you _know_ how I feel about all this; I made it perfectly clear the last time we spoke. What makes you think I'd feel any differently now?"

He sighed and placed both of his hands on her arms, glad that she did not shy away from his touch. "Listen to me. He's getting stronger every day, I - I just know there's no way he's going to lose this battle. He's going to kill anyone who gets in his way and I...I don't want to see you get hurt."

He felt her tense up at his words.

"And are you included in that?" she asked.

He screwed his face up at her. "What?"

"Would he kill you...if you got in his way?"

He had never really thought about it before but the answer was simple. "Yes," he whispered. "Of course he would. But I...I would, would never -"

"Never what?" she cut across him, her voice angry again. "Get in his way? _Exactly_, Severus. You wouldn't get in his way because you're _on. His. Side_. And that makes you on the opposite side to me." She paused, as she took a breath. "I will never lay loyalties with that _evil_ man. And I really wish that you wouldn't either...you're too good for him, Sev. It's about time you realised that."

He had nothing to say to her. No one had ever told him that he was too good for anything.

"I need to go now," she muttered, pulling away from him.

"No, Lily, you can't just _leave_?" He had to keep her here with him, he had to spend more time convincing her!

"What else is there to say?" she shrugged. "You've chosen your path and I've decided not to follow, there's nothing more you can do."

She was completely right of course - there was nothing left to be said - but as she began to walk away from him, he grabbed at anything he could in order to just _keep her there with him_ and the words that he had been trying to hold on to the entire night came forth and burst from him, ripping out any shred of dignity he may have had left.

"Are you getting married to James Potter?"

She stopped in her tracks and span round. "What?"

"Please - before you go - I just needed to know...are the rumours true?"

His breath was heavy as he waited for a response. Suddenly there was a flicker of understanding behind those green eyes of hers. He knew that she knew that this was the reason he had asked her here all along. Her eyes were sad - apologetic almost - and her voice quiet when she eventually answered, "Yes."

He looked down at the sodden grass beneath his feet and wished that the damp earth would give way and swallow him whole. This was the question he had been waiting days to be answered, this was the response he had even been _expecting_ to hear and yet he wasn't prepared...he could never be prepared to hear that the love of his life was being taken away from him.

Not that she had ever been his. There was a time when he thought there could be a future for them both but those feelings soon disintegrated after their friendship ended - when each of them made their choices to go down different paths. He was fascinated by the Dark Arts and she simply was not and there was nothing that could be done now to rekindle the relationship that they once had. This meeting had only confirmed that further.

He could taste bile in his mouth as he uttered the only word he could think of to say:

"C - congratulations."

She looked up at him then with her sad eyes and whispered, "Thank you."

"So," he coughed. "When's the...'Big Day'?"

Her mouth fell and she shook her head slightly and he wondered if this was perhaps the question she had been dreading the most; her eyes were suddenly wet, glistening in the moonlight.

"Oh, Sev," she choked. "It - it's tomorrow."

He felt the last of his decorum slip away as his eyes widened and his mouth fell open in horror. He grabbed the back of his head with his right hand then turned away from her; with his other hand, he covered his mouth, swallowing bile once more. Just when he thought this night could not get any worse.

"That's the only reason I could agree to come see you tonight, Severus," she said, her voice almost pleading. "The bride and groom aren't supposed to see each other the night before the wedding and...well, basically, James wasn't there to stop me from coming here."

"What?" He turned back to face her. "So the only reason I got to see you tonight is because you're getting married to that idiot _tomorrow_?"

"He's not an idiot!" Her temper flared. "If anything, _you're_ the idiot for thinking I would ever come work for bloody Voldemort!"

"No, Lil. I'm an idiot for thinking that you would ever come work alongside _me_."

There was a strong silence as they stared hard at each other. It began to rain again.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily said eventually.

He exhaled loudly. "It's not supposed to mean _anything_, sweetheart," he sneered. "So why don't you just run along and play Potter's wife or something?"

Her eyes grew large and an angry tear escaped, rolling down her cheek. She hurriedly wiped it away. "Oh, stop being so _pathetic_, will you? We aren't children anymore!"

"Only just barely. Nineteen's a bit young to be getting married, don't you think?"

She seemed stumped. "S - seriously? _That's_ your problem with this situation? My _age_? You know, for one minute there I actually thought that you had called me out here to..." She stopped as she thought of what she was saying. "I - you know what? It doesn't matter!"

She began her fast pace away from him again and he reached his hand out to grab her in case she thought of Disapparating. "No, Lily, wait!" He felt guilty at the way he had spoken to her. "Just look at me!"

He struggled to get a proper hold of her as she jerked around in his arms, trying to escape him.

"Just forget it!" she cried but he didn't let go. In the end, he was too strong for her and she slowly gave up her struggle and collapsed in his arms, large sobs wreaking her whole body.

"Hey," he shushed her. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry, I - What was it you thought?"

He rubbed her back gently and she slowly turned in his arms to gaze up at him; the tears on her face were intermingled with the rain but he didn't think he had ever seen her look so beautiful.

"I don't know what I thought you were going to say," she sniffed, her tears freely flowing now. "But I think I _wanted_ you to say something, to...I dunno, to make me realise if I was doing the right thing or not."

It was Severus's turn to be stumped. She couldn't be saying what he thought she was saying...could she? His heart pounded fast against his chest and she was just _staring_ at him, waiting for him to say something, anything...but the words would not come.

So instead he kissed her.

It was completely without thought that he did it but he half-expected her to pull away from him, to reprimand him for being so stupid - she was getting married in the morning, for Merlin's sake! But she didn't. She leaned into the kiss with such passion and such force that it felt as though she had been waiting for this moment for years. He knew he certainly had...

And as quickly as it had begun, the kiss was over and they stood with their eyes closed, foreheads gently touching. He ran his fingers lightly up and down her arms, savouring in the moment - because he _knew_. He knew deep down in his soul that this would go no further.

She was looking at him with those eyes again and he knew she was waiting on him to say something to her. And he wanted to say those words to her too but it would be wrong; she was in love with another man, whom he hated - and he himself idolised a man she abhorred. This was never going to work.

The silence progressed and soon he saw the realisation in her eyes. He wasn't going to say it. All he did was shake his head and an unspoken agreement passed between the two of them. Gradually, she stood up on her tip-toes and kissed him on the forehead. Any doubts that she may have had about her wedding were now gone and she knew what she had to do.

Stepping back from him, she gave him a watery smile and pulled the hood of her robe up over her head. "Goodbye, Sev."

And then she was gone and he was on his knees in the pouring rain.

It was the first time he had seen her in over twelve months, but it would also be the last time Severus Snape would ever see Lily Evans again. This was their final goodbye - but he wasn't to know that, of course. If he had known, he might have been able to pluck up the courage to say one simple word that could have changed absolutely everything...

_"Stay."_

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_Very much like J.K. Rowling, I got the idea for this story whilst on a train. I was in the middle of a journey into Glasgow on a very rainy day at the beginning of July and I was listening along to my iPod on Shuffle when the song 'Stay' by Hurts came on. I looked out the window and we passed by many trees in a large, woodland area - as I watched the rain pour down, I could see in my mind's eye, two cloaked and hooded figures amongst the trees. At first I thought they were Death Eaters but then as I truly listened to the words of the song, I realised in fact that it was Lily and Severus that I could see. And, simply put, the story progressed from there...For those of you who have not heard the song, I urge you to do so - reading the lyrics will simply not do; you really have to listen to the music in order to give you a feel for the story. Hope you enjoyed this and please review! :)_


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